Sunday, June 28, 2009

the sickness

16 days ago something happened to me. i began to get very shaky. 15 days ago i was not only shaky but i was also weak. 14 days ago i still had the same symptoms as the past two days but i was also nauseous.13 day and still the same symptoms but all of them were more extreme and i began to have pain in my stomach. this went on for 10 days before i decided to go to a doctor and see what was wrong. they tested me for h-pylori and of course just like the last 5 times i was tested for this it was negative. i was sent to the hospital to get an ultrasound of my gallbladder done to see if it was possibly gallstones. NEGATIVE! everything looks normal the doctor tells me. but by now the pain was getting unbearable. what do i do i kept thinking to myself, it hurts so badly. so i return to the Dr and they refer me to a surgeon and set up an appointment for me to get a scan on my gallbladder done to see if it was even working at all. that night as a lay in bed talking to Trevor(my boyfriend) i begin to get the worst pain i had ever had in my entire life. i began to sob. i couldn't even move and i was shaking like i had never don't before. what do i do i sobbed to him through the phone. he didn't know he said call 911 i cant help you. he was so worried i finally decided to call Becky, she didn't answer so i called home, no answer, so i called my dad, he answered. but what could he do? while he was calming me down i received a call from Rena she calmed me down some and then i talked to Becky while Lorena called Michelle. Michelle and her Trevor came straight to my apartment and picked me up and took me to the hospital. as i was getting signed in a girl and her friends came in. the girl had tried to kill herself and had overdosed on Tylenol. it was very scary. she was rushed in so the doctors could revive her. i was next. i was brought to my bedroom and they drew some blood and had me take a urine sample. i told them my symptoms and how long it had been in great detail. they left and soon a man came in and had me drink something incredibly gross and then gave me apple juice. he told me we are going to have to do a cat scan on you. next a lady walked in and hooked me up to an iv. ouch it hurt so badly. i then fell fast asleep after calling home and giving a report. they woke me up about 3 in the morning and wheeled me over to get a cat scan. i had to drink the gross stuff again. yuck! they lay me down and the cat scan began. the machine talked to me. it was so scary! it seemed like a nightmare that was way too real. i was given a substance that made me feel like i had peed my pants and gave me a metal taste in my mouth. i had an instant hot flash and it was really had to breathe. i was taken back to my room. i went back to sleep and was reawaken at around 5 in the morning by them telling me the cat scan didn't show anything wrong and they needed to flush my system to see if that would help at all.it was the worst thing i have ever had to do in my whole entire life. i will not go into detail but i will say my personal space was greatly violated. it made me feel even worse when the procedure was all over. i just felt like i was going to throw up even more and the pain was still there. i slept until 7 and they came in again and asked if i wanted the procedure done again and i said no. i was released from the hospital and was taken home. later that day i went to refill prescriptions and buy some medicine. i think i am getting better and i have God to thank he works so may miracles. How great it he? i still have pain and the same symptoms but i feel as though they are lessening as if i am being healed. thank you everyone for the support you gave me through my hard time, and praise the Lord God Almighty!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The College Life Week One

For those of you who didnt REALLY know me that well before i ran off to college, i was the kind of kid that loved to hang out with friends and was always ready to have fun, and by having fun i mean having sleepovers where nobody ever really slept and then went shopping all day long the very next day, or running around walmart wearing all the funny hats just laughing and having a blast, and then sometimes we might do something really dumb, and thats where my story begins. On night around 11 i decided to go have a sleepover at my best friend Hannahs house. it was Kassie Hannah and I and we were ready for fun. We decided we wanted to sleep on the trampoline but of course wimped out becase it was way too cold and we didnt have an electric heating blanket like we had at my house so we decided to just hang in the house and play Would you Rather for a few hours. After that we decided to do our nails and of course i had on fake nails and i wanted them off. so we sat there for about three hours waiting for my nails to come off and they never did. i ended up ripping them off and taking some real nail with them (ouch). by this time it was around 2 or 3 in the morning and none us want to be the first dork to fall asleep so we all denied being tired. thats when things started getting silly. we decided that we wanted to paint our faces and do our hair crazy.when we got done it was about 6 in the morning and and we looked like porsaline dollsl that you might find at a carnival. we waited until hannahs mom took off for work around 8 and then we told her dad that we were going to go to Maxi Java and visit Kassies sister at work(luckily she was the only one there). After that we went home and decided to go for a walk but it was too hot(maybe we were too lazy), so we went inside and rocked out to some tunes. by this time it was around 1:00 and we were getting tired, so we helped Hannah clean up a little and then headed to my house but Kassie was tired so i took her home and she went to sleep, but of course Hannah and i thought we were tough and decided to go to my house. We ended up laying on my bed and thinking of anything we could to keep us awake. thats when i got a brilliant idea. i called up my hair dresser and sceduled an appointment. we jumped into the car and raced to the salon, and thats when i chopped my curls off. I HATED IT! i began to cry and went back later to have her fix it. I LIKED IT... and from that moment on i was a cosmotologist (i mean who isnt ready when you have a new short sassy hair cut) a few days later after i said all my goodbyes(yes it was hard) i headed to face the real world. i arrived at my apartment with icecream sandwithces in hand(who can go wrong with icecream), unloaded my belongings, ate some food and spent my first night at my apartment(Becca stayed with me and Becky and Milly stayed at a hotel). the next day we went shopping for food so i could live a few weeks with out buying food, and then they headed on their wat home. Day 3: i started school. I LOVED IT! it was everything i expected and more, but there was one problem, atleast in my mind. i had no friends. at school a lot of the girls had brought their best friend with them and at home my roommates wouldnt talk to me. i felt so alone, but the one thing i knew was that i always had God. i began praying like crazy(lord help me to learn, help me be strong, help me pass this test ive been studying like crazy for, help me with homesickness, and so on, and not forgetting once to thank him for everything good and wonderful, and even for trials). After many calls home and me begging to come home, i began to feel comfort. God was blessing me and i couldnt even realize it because i was too busy wallowing in self pitty. Sage(my adorable roomate with super curly dark reddish brown hair) began giving me rides in the morning, helped me study for tests, and gave me advice that really helped. That was a great blessing in my life to finally feel like my roommates didnt really hate me and enjoyed talking to me sometimes. She was my first friend figure. the girls at school were still not talking to me but it wasnt all bad because i enjoyed listening to thier stories.
Random Stories!
one day as i was walking home from school i had a really bad wedgie and i wanted to pick it and just as i was about to do so a little red car passed by me. i waited until the car got to the main road and when i turned around to see if they had turned so i could pick it i noticed the car had turned around. i thought darn, i guess ill have to wait until i get home, when all of a sudden the car stops. the girl inside asks me if i would like a ride. i get in the car and tell her where i was headed. she tells me how she used to live in that same apartment and even went to the same school i am going to. she also told me that she notices me walking everyday and even though she was headed into town she decided to offer me a ride. that was a blessing. it was really rainy and cold that day and i didnt want to walk that whole way. i thanked her way too much and we went our separate ways. i will never forget her small act of kindness toward me. now i have to tell a funny story in the midst of all this serious talk. one morning i woke up. i rolled out of bed( and yes i literally fell out because i had forgotten i was on the top bunk. it hurt) i gather myself from the floor grab my toothbrush and toothpaste and put it in the bathroom, i then proceed to the kitchen to makemyself a bagel so i wouldnt starve to death at school that day(i usually just eat a 90 calorie special k bar and get a little hungry so i wanted to treat myself to something new) as i walk down the hall i begin to smell the most disgusting smell i have ever smelled in my entire life. i help my breath and tried not to think about it so i wouldnt be rude in case sage had burnt her oatmeal or something. as i keep walking i noice that nothing is cooking and i just cant figure out what could be making that smell. all of a sudden i notice what it is. as i look into my living room i see a ton of guys passed out all over the floor and on my couches. i didnt know where they came from or why they were there but i just treated it as a normal occurance along with the rest of my roommates. to this day i still dont know who they were or why they were there, and i still cant figure out for the life of me why they smelled so terrible. it will forever be a mystery to me.

today i went to church. it was the best experience of my life. i met a lady, the nicest lady i have ever met, and she gave me a ride. the service was wonderful and so touching. it brought tears to my eyes. the message was so great and i am so excited to go back. the lady who gave me a ride gave me her # and told me to call anytime and that she will be praying for me. she told me about how her son is in a christian rock band and how he had a gig the night before and she had to miss it. she shared some of her experiences with me and a lot of them really related to me and my life. it was wonderful and a true blessing. i will never forget this first week of college life and all my trials and all my blessings. it will change my life forever